Young, dumb & broke

So ever since leaving school at 16yrs to having my first son at 18yrs I’ve been told I’m to young, I don’t know what I’m doing, my life is backwards, a lot of my decisions are wrong and yeah maybe those people were right but I believe you have to make your own mistakes.

So I left school at 16yrs to work full time, at that time I thought what’s the point in staying in school I’m already working in my dream job and I wasn’t doing well with school so why waste my time. Right…? Unfortunately all didn’t go to plan and I had to give up my dream job.

I meet a guy before leaving work & moved out of home (moved next doorπŸ˜„) Trying to live that cool adult life not realising with adulthood comes responsibility it wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be.

Soon to find out I’m pregnant, life was going to change little did I know or understand.

I married at 18yrs to a man I thought I’d be with forever. We didn’t get married because I was pregnant. Yes being pregnant did move the wedding up and because of family beliefs but also we thought what’s the point in waiting…A lot of reasons should of come to mind but I was certain I knew what I was doing.

First baby here and wanting more, another baby, leave your job-being a military wife is hard, let’s buy a house, buy a cool car, let’s get a dog but still be young and have fun. Not at all was I living in the real world. Bills started piling up, being a young mum/wife made me question what am I doing with my life. I did nothing but hide my problems and block people out.

Soon enough I’m hanging out with the wrong people and ending my marriage. Moving back home and trying to start over but you don’t get to start over with kids.

Trying to find a partner when you already have kids is the hardest experience I’ve had. Will they love my kids as much as I do? Will they be nice to them? Will my kids hate me for them having a broken family? Should I even date? What would people say? Who would want me? Did I make the right choice? Millions of questions and doubts but only one thing I can do. Try. See what happens.

I was not at all ready for the bashing I was about to get, from everyone and I mean everyone. Everyone had a option and wanted to tell me about it, weather it’d be good or bad.

Because I never had my teenage years of going out, hanging with friends, going to parties, making bad choices (truthfully), I wanted to experience it. Even the bad choices. I thought of myself and I knew best. I found some new friends, reconnected with some old friends but still at the end of the day I felt alone. None of my friends knew what I was going through, not truthfully and was I going to tell them NO I wanted them to believe I had the “perfect” life. I was able to balance being a solo mum and still be young, enjoying my single life.

Once meeting Jake he grounded me again. Showing me what’s really important in life. He helped me a lot more than he knows, in more ways than one. He made me a better mum by helping me understand my boys better. He made a incredible bond with my boys which in a way made me jealous. I wanted that bond with them but Jake reminded me my bond with them was still very strong just different and no matter what no bond will ever come close to ours. From that day Jake stole our hearts ALL of our hearts. ❀️❀️❀️

Xo K

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